My Points of View: Keeping Marriage Stronger (finale)

Before anything else, I would like to express my gratitude to all readers, viewers and guests who were featured on this blog.

Thank you for the trust for letting me write this article and the positive response through email.

As a writer, I have this mood swing whether I want to start another topic or not. When information feeds my exhausted brain, I am being reinvigorate. My mind starts to imagine fairy tales, couple walking hand in hand under the moonlight, and the sparkle of love and kisses.

Tied a knot on July 24, 2004 in HongKong

Whenever I ask couples, if they want to be a part of my blog, they often ask if I am married. Before they jump into another question, I answered them with a smile, that their unique love story will be an inspiration for me and to all readers of my blog.

I will not disclose their love stories. The trials they have been to, from the time of dating until they settled down. By merely reading the glitters into their eyes, and genuine smile. I can say, they are happily contented and loved.

Furthermore, I included here my research and summarized according to my understanding about "The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work....Strengthening the Marital Friendship" by John Gottmann, 1999

20 years happily married.

1. Stay in touch with each other- have time to talk each day, even for simple things.

2. Show appreciation- Saying thanks or giving compliments.

3. Show kindness- kind words or kind actions.

4 years dating before settling down

4.Give the gift of understanding- For someone to be understood, he must know how to understand first.

5. Learn your spouse's 'love language"

6. Make time for fun

7. Balance being a parent with being a partner- Parenthood can bring some special demands and challenges to the marriage.

"A solid marital friendship is a buffer against the problems that arise in marriage. No marriage will ever be totally free of differences, and setting out to "fix" everything we're unhappy about is an impossible task. The more we're focused on problems, the more problems we'll see. Couples are happier when they can focus on the good in their marriage and in their spouse. When the friendship is good, it's easier to do that, And when our friendship is solid and we are happy in the marriage, differences and problems don't matter as much." (by Thomas R. Lee, Ph.D., 2001)